The Story of Earl & Simon

Simon set out on a quest many years ago with a burning desire to find the ultimate sauce. He travelled the world but never found one hot enough, one tasty enough, one spicy enough.

Meanwhile, Earl had found his way to Barry with his ultimate hot sauce recipe in tow. He had overcome many obstacles, including a very close call at a pet shop and long before that a badger hunting school, Earl had finally made it.

Simon finally admitted defeat on his quest and returned to Barry, arriving home with nothing more than the clothes on his back and a sack of chillies. Simon sought out his local with the lads he’d left behind so many years ago.

Earl was bitterly disappointed; no one would try his sauce, most people ignored him and treated him like, well, a dog. He’d thought Barry would be the perfect exotic and welcoming place to debut his sauce. But he wasn’t prepared to give up as Earl had heard of a man, a man on a quest for the ultimate hot sauce. He began his search and what better place to start than the pub.

In despair Simon began to eat his chillies, too many chillies and soon thereafter he was wandering around Barry sea front in a chilli infused hallucination.

Earl saw him leaving the pub, a dribbling mess with swollen lips staggering away. This man was clearly on a chilli high, Earl sympathised. But he knew if he could get this one man to try his sauce everyone would listen.

Simon staggered in and out of pubs in his chilli-induced state; Earl tailed him for a while but lost him, he couldn’t keep up in his small sausage dog form. However, shortly after dawn broke, Earl found him collapsed on the concrete near the sea front.

Earl seized the opportunity and, padding over to the unconscious man, he hopped onto his chest, grasping the bottle between his paws. Earl removed the cap, pulled the man’s mouth open and with the bottle clasped in his jaws he began to pour.

Simon looked up, amazed and confused. A sausage dog was drip-feeding him hot sauce and the taste was rich, smoky and hot. Hotter than anything he’d tried before. He had to have more and just as he was planning a way to grab the sauce and run the dog talked, ‘Hey, my name’s Earl.’

Simon was an instant fanatic, he wanted more sauce and to share it with the world, but Earl was the top dog and insisted on doing things his way. They began to raise an empire of hot sauces called Hot Diggidy Dog.

And so began the scheming of Simon and the cunning of Earl.

Follow their hilarious, painful and profoundly eye-watering antics.